Negative Core Beliefs

Imagine starting a painting. You are working with an easel, some big sheets of paper, and a selection of paints. But the paints are all similar colours , of similar hues.

As you begin to paint, you realise there will not be much chance to contrast or bring out different parts of the same painting.

The colours you have at your disposal are purple, maroon, black, dark green and dark blue. Every time you try to make something look different , you are restricted by your palette. People with negative core beliefs suffer with the same issues.

They simply do not have the colours/ words/emotions/accurate descriptions of feelings to express how they are on a daily basis.

This can happen for a number of reasons. But at the root of it is a simple fact. If we are surrounded by people who are not interested in how we feel, there is no point in accessing our feelings. Because they will leave us disappointed that our needs are not being met. And if we have no use in voicing our feelings, there is no point in speaking out, because nothing good will happen from it. And if we don’t bother engaging with our voice, then we will stop thinking the thoughts in the first place. Because what is the point in thinking thoughts that you cant give a voice to?

So our original self, our authentic self gets buried deeper and deeper inside of us. When you and I start working together, a good part of our early work will be to encourage you to think the thoughts, identify them, access the right words to voice the most accurate description of what has gone on for you in the past and the present. And what you would like the future to look like. When you begin to locate yourself in the present, we can look at what that feels like and where you would like to take it next. And the negative core beliefs suddenly have less and less space to manoeuvre in as reality steps in.

You may also find that these negative beliefs only materialise around certain people and certain situations. At that point we can bring in CBT techniques and fundamental skills that challenge your negative core concepts in everyday environments.

Working in this way, it is less likely that you will feel like returning to old beliefs and habits, as the evidence for change becomes stronger and stronger.